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Tag Archives: kids
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Posted in kids, Uncategorized
Tagged dog, first world problems, kids, work
Things Rosie says…
At random times: "Papa, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" (She has never, to my knowledge, seen Animaniacs…)
Because she is 3: "NO! You stay right dere, I'm gonna do it MYSELF!" (This applies to such things as, running naked through the campground to use a porta-potty alone)
When performing magic: "Abracadabra, Calvin-mazoo, make ice cream appear." (Her siblings have, sadly, mostly corrected her out of this one)
When expecting something good: "Oh! Oh! I'm so exciting!" (understatement)
Also because she is 3: "NNNGH! I *hate* you! I'm not gonna be your fwiend EVER." (never lasts more than 10 minutes)
Cartesian confusion: "Calvin, do you matter if I play wif your legos?" (!)
Positively Lamarckian
Calvin shows a remarkable facility for staying up way past his bedtime and playing with glowsticks and other luminescent objects.
Hello, Human Genome Project? Riddle me that.
The Wisdom of Calvin
"Do you think clams know that this thing inside them is made out of meat?"
In Calvin's world…
There are mostly robots and rocket ships.
Continue reading
awesomeness
Calvin has suddenly leapfrogged to that developmental point where the box of legos is a completely blank canvas, not a way to build the thing pictured on the box. Now every day brings a new multifunction space conveyance and its attendant chainsaw-wielding mutant robot spy-fireman.
Pictures to follow.
Calvin is lost in thought. After some time, he looks at me and says, "Papa, is there such a thing as a man-grabber?"
Today's philosophical explanation
from Calvin, while speaking to his cousin Kerri.
Calvin: You know why I was never here before?
Kerri: No Calvin, why?
Calvin: Because I never even EXISTED! I had to be CREATED, then I could come here!
Rock!
Calvin and I are clambering around the long stone jetty at Hampton Beach state park. I think it looks like your typical New England style stacked-rock wall built large; he is convinced that they are the broken pieces of asteroids, destroyed by a rocket ship and fallen to Earth. He is relating his theory to everyone who passes us on our journey, whether they inquire or no. We are passed frequently, as the gaps between asteroids are rather larger than a small boy– even if he IS five– can navigate without all four limbs and much careful maneuvering.
About halfway out (on this excursion…we made several trips to the asteroid belt today) he decides he's had enough space travel and wants to climb down the side instead, before the tide comes in and renders that path inaccessible. During our descent, this conversation:
Calvin: Everything real is in my mind.
Me: Calvin, there are more than a few things that are NOT real in your mind!
Calvin: Sure! But, every real thing is in my mind. Like this rock here. See? [taps the barnacles with his foot] It's real! and it's in my mind!
All this climbing makes my feet sore, but my heart light.
and in other musical kid news
Driving to the pet store with Nina and Rose, about a week ago. "Sheena is a punk rocker" comes on the radio. Nina looks at me and says, "This is the Beach Boys, right?"
I was dumbstruck. I thought briefly of calling a moratorium on the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus until she demonstrated a modicum of understanding of the rock/pop back catalog, but then I remembered that a college acquaintance once asked, while "Stairway to Heaven" was playing, "Oh wow, is this Rush?"
So we all have our little blind spots, you know. She has access to, conservatively, over 300 days worth of uninterrupted, non-repeating music in this house, if she decides such things are important 
continuing on the theme of bedtime for Rose…
This evening, the contents of Old Macdonald's Farm included: cats, dogs, chickens, roosters, pigs, cows, squirrels, bears, badgers, ocelots, polar bears, flamingos, elephants, a herd of wildebeest, penguins, a Gaboon viper, kangaroos, humpback whales, a yak, and a Thompson's gazelle.
Littlest one
Rose can now climb out of her crib, but she can't open doors yet. So occasionally we are awakened by the sound of her talking/singing to herself while standing on a stool and turning the lights in her room on and off and on and off and on and off and…
She is losing some of her baby talk, but her brother is still named "Calbin" as far as she is concerned, "ch" is still "ts" (as in, "I love you soooo muts!") and "r" is often "w" (as in, "Calbin, don't scweam at me!").
She has a toy stethoscope. She will come up to you and say "I want to listen to your heart", lift up your shirt, (or as she says it, "shuuuurt"), and put the stethoscope on your stomach. Then she says "Go [breath in, breathe out]." You comply. She chirps "Thank You! Now I wanna give you a shot. Don't worry, it won't pints (pinch, per above) you." She gives you a toy shot, and you of course say "Ow." She replies "I'm sowwy! You want me to kiss it all better?"(actually, "You wan meeta kissit all betta?") Repeat until charmed.
Bedtime songs have become an exercise in comedic timing. It started with my pausing before the last word in a given line until she cracked up. Then she started laughing immediately and singing the last word herself. Now, she's decided it's even funnier if she only sings the first *syllable* of the last word in a line. Which leads to things like:
P: [...]Someone's in the kitchen with
R: …DIE!…
P: -nah, someone's in the kitchen I
R: …KNOW! [giggle]
P: -oh-oh-oh, Someone's in the kitchen with
R: ..DIE! [cackle]
P: -nahhhhhh! Strummin' on the old
R: …[giggle] BAN [guffaw]
P: JO!
and finally, I leave you with this chilling image. I'm doing dishes after dinner, A. is out on an errand. Rose wanders in, pulls the towel off the refrigerator door handle and says "Don't worry Papa, I clean it up!"
Calvin, at the dinner table, to Rose, context forgotten: "It's ok Rosie, I trust you!"
Rose: "DON'T trust me! [nom nom nom the cauliflower nom nom]. I'm baaaad."
Also, it is to be noted that our dinners are recently plagued by the continuous interruptions of the feetgrabber ghost. Who does not, contrary to rumor, grab feet (at least not anymore). Instead, it absconds with your sippy cup full of milk, or your last two green beans (without the consumption of which, no ice cream shall be served), only to return the same, mysteriously, at some later time. Guests be forewarned.
Rosie to me, on the way out the door to ride along for the 30 minute "drop everyone else at school" ride: "Bye Bye Papa, See You Tuesday! [blows kiss]"
also
Calvin calls the thing in the back of his throat his HOOvula. This comes up rather more often than you would at first assume.
Calvin: "Papa, what are people made of?"
Me (momentarily forgetting that the correct answer is "star stuff"): "Oh, you know, flesh and bone…"
Calvin: "Flesh and bone and blood and Dreamland. Right?"
Me: "…that's absolutely right."
Calvin: "Sometimes the blood comes out, but Dreamland never comes out, right?"
Me: "Very, very rarely."
Other things Rose says
Instead of saying/screaming "No!" like other 2-ish toddlers, Rose has an expansive vocabulary of negation. Lately we get a lot of "No any that, no any that!" Or "No any this!", or "No any go sleep!".
She will occasionally go all lolcat, i.e. "I can't have to go pee!" Also in the cat vain, she says "Look! I see Jake! Oh Jake, he's so kyoot!" Seriously, she says kyoot. Or kuh-yoot. While yanking on his tail with both hands or trying to pick him up by his ears. Jake allows this. Jake is a very enlightened cat person.
and best of all, she will say "x is too big" to describe an object in any one of a dozen failure modes. Food too hot? "Dese nuggets are too big." Can't buckle velcro shoes? "Shoes are too big." Can't find blanket? "Dis blank is too big!" (For Rose, Calvin has a "blankely" but she has a "blank.") All the water running out of her bathtub down the drain? "Blath is too big!" and sometimes all of the above in combination, "I can't havta go pee, it's too big! No any potty!"
I must point out that Rose is by FAR the most potty trained at the youngest age of any of our kids. But still, she's two. you gotta stay on top of the situation, and it's a frequent topic of discussion.
Every direction is "upstairs." but she has to "hold onna wailing"!
and most every book is either "Read go dog go!" or "read Goonite moon!" even when she's holding neither of those two books.
I'll post more of these later when I can remember. Must capture the cute!
